Not like I let you in...
I just returned home after one of the most stressful mornings of my new sobriety which constitutes about everything: I'm squeaky clean these days. No cigarettes, no prescription pain killers, no heroin, or even medical marijuana, I'm a poster child for reform right now.
Yes, I feel really honest and want to share certain things which may help you understand a little more about me and my blogs.
You're not, no way...
Yes, I'm a bi-polar and one that has rage issues to boot. Gosh, I'm sure you got the part about the anger, but I bet you didn't know much more than that.
I'm an addict who has been using drugs, sex, and food for my whole life to stop the pain. But I no longer want to stop the pain, I want to live through it, and make up for lost time. I'm interested as you all know in the truth, so I may as well introduce you to my personal blog: The bi-polar American.
Unlike this blog, it is about me and my disorder. But it is also a road map for other bi-polars who may have lost their way such as how I did in a serious suicide attempt a month ago. I make fun of Charlie Sheen just before I crash and tear apart the KVHD ER last November 11th. It is ironic, but true, the stuff I have to deal with.
I left the drugs behind...dramatically
I could no longer take the drugs and avoid the truth. I stopped short of killing myself, but I caused a circus at the ER for which I am embarrassed and apologetic. I'm being humbled to a degree and now I'm dealing with my anger.
It did not occur to me that when I realized that I used my precious medical marijuana, I was also stopping my anger. Not a good idea as these kind of things tend to get backed up and then there is no way to stop it when it pours out.
Hence, my crazy morning. I could not for the life of me get it together as I have not slept in a week. I stopped the "pot" and sleep did not come again last night, so I have been falling apart. But I also have been coming together, as suddenly I had to deal with my anger. I thought it would take a few days, but no...It hit me so hard that I was shocked myself.
Now, I'll stop with the information and just give you my address and hope (cringing) that it's not too much to learn this about the author of this blog. Likely, most of you will not even be surprised and have thought I have other disorders too.
We are all flawed and I'm no exception...quite possibly the rule
I'm not going to tell you this is easy or the correct method, but I only offer that I'm human and sometimes even fragile. I'm startlingly underweight and in need of a constant food supply. I have a long haul ahead of me, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get better and move on with the program.
I'm a member of NA and AA and any other letters you add to this human condition. Please enjoy and even laugh at my own foibles as I really am just a bi-polar American....
Watch out for "language" as I have been a good girl on this blog, but not so on the other. There is a warning at the top for those of you resistant to the fact that people cuss and need to sometimes. Don't go there with a closed mind as you will find what you want, but go there with an open mind that bi-polar is not a death sentence but a life long challenge. Maybe you are bi-polar and don't even know it.
Take care and good luck as you journey into my mind:
http://thebipolaramerican.blogspot.com/
Two's company, three's a violation: The Brown Act. It's just another law to ignore that was created to keep board members from controlling the vote. I suggest we all start following KVHD's example and break the law too and face no repercusions. I didn't even think to consider such a solution, but if they can do it with the knowledge of law enforcement, I do believe we should get a "waiver" for any laws we may have or want to break.
what a JOKE !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteand let me guess who besides laura "THE KRV JOKE" Hart approves the comments !!!
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